Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around Star Wars
by pinkachu00
Summary: Several Star Wars characters find a story of gigantic Mary Sue proportions.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer —_

_Star Wars is George Lucas'. Ok? The idea came from crazyroninchic. Kudos to her._

_Italics indicate story text being read by a character._

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"I thought we were staying on this planet for a vacation," Leia said. "This isn't vacation."

"Then what is it?" Han said. "No battles to fight, no things to argue about, no one trying to kill us - sounds nice to me."

Luke smiled. "I get it. Leia's bored out of her mind."

"You don't count. You have the Force." Han scowled.

"'Hokey religion', my foot," commented Luke. "So, we're stuck in this godforsaken place without anything to do. So..."

"Let's invite Dad!" exclaimed Leia.

Han immediately got up. "No. Vader is not coming here! This is a vacation!" He sat in a chair and grabbed a lomin ale.

Leia yanked him down. "I'm inviting _Anakin Skywalker_ if you hadn't noticed. Not Darth Vader." She hit the comlink by her side. "Please send Anakin and guest in." Luke laughed. Han choked over his ale.

"You... you invited them here already?" he sputtered. At that moment, Anakin wandered in with Padmé.

"Hello," he said. Smiling at his children, his eyes found Han, choking. "Who are you?"

"Ha-cough-n So-cough-lo." He attempted to stand. "Pleased to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, Han."

"Who are **you**?" asked Luke, pointing at Padmé. Leia yanked his arm down.

"It's rude to point," she said.

Padmé grinned. "I'm Padmé Amidala Skywalker."

Han groaned. "Don't tell me Vader is having weird sisters too."

The Senator turned on him. "As a matter of fact, I'm his WIFE." Han blushed and hid behind his ale. Luke started shuffling through some cabinets. Padmé continued. "Leia! Darling, how are you?"

Before she could answer, Luke pulled out a lavender binder with many Anakin and Luke stickers surrounded by hearts on it. "What kind of Sithspawn is this?" Leia yanked away from him and examined it.

"Hm... I'd say it is a work of a-" Leia stopped, unable to think of a word suitable.

Han yanked it from her. "Someone with design scenes worse than Bevel Lemelisk."

Padmé yanked it from Han. "Let's see what's in it." She flipped through several pages of "I (heart) Anakin and Luk3! OMG they rox!" which she didn't read at all, until she came to what seemed like a title page. "This is the way I want things!1111!39484!" she read aloud. "By pinkandprettyanakinsgrl293748."

"That's longer than Imperial code." Luke thought for a moment. "I have a-"

"Bad Feeling About This," the others all said at once. "We know."

Padmé pulled a chair up next to Luke. "I'll read first. This should be entertaining."

_Serena was walking along, when she suddenly saw a lost puppy and picked it up and called the number and got lots of money. Then a pretty fairy (not as pretty as Serena though) appeared._

"_I think you should get a reward for that," she said._

"_I'm fine." Serena, in addition to having perfect green eyes and perfect blonde hair, was also a very good person._

"It's called _modesty_," Leia drawled. "Duh."

"This girl sounds really whiny," said Han.

"_I have special powers and can see what you really think!" the fairy said. "I sense you want to meet a boy..."_

"_Not any boy!" Serena exclaimed. "I want Ana-"_

"Freaking bitch!" yelled Padmé, throwing the book at Anakin. Anakin picked it up and examined the part where she stopped.

"Oh." He passed it to Han.

"Well, I'll read. Or try to." Han opened the book again.

"_I want Anakin Skywalker! He's so hawt and cute and etc and so is bis son!"_

"Jeez, she doesn't need that many exclamation points." Han poked at it, trying to find a button. "Where's the re-record button?" He eventually gave up and started to read again.

"_You will be able to. Here you go..." the fairy said. Serena was thrown into the air to find herself in a bed on the big... sunny... planet thingy._

"It's TATOOINE!" yelled Luke and Anakin.

_She was staring into some amazing green eyes. "Who are you?" she asked._

"_I," the man said. "Am Anakin Skywalker." He was at his 19 year old age with a better haircut and cuter looks than from age 9. "And I think I'm in love."_

Leia, Han, Luke, Anakin and especially Padmé gagged. "Could she be anymore lame?" asked Luke.

"This looks really really really bad," said Leia.

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A/N: I think you know what's coming up. ;) Thanks to crazyroninchic again for letting me use the idea. And for letting such a shoddy writer take it up. 


	2. Chapter 2

Han threw the book to Luke. "You try reading it." Luke gingerly opened it.

_Serena was overjoied with happyness. She had always wished for this. Anakin picked her up and tenderly placed her beside him. "What is your name?" he asked._

"_I'm Serena." She fluttered her eyelashes. _

"_Serena... a lovely name for a lovely girl." Anakin took her hand and kissed it. "Lovely." He wanted to just take her in his arms and kiss her until she fainted, but refrianed for her sake._

"And, luckily, for ours," Han said. "Hanging in there, Luke?"

"I'm just glad I'm not in this yet," Luke said.

_A day later..._

_Anakin had gone off with some girl to see about someone named Shmit._

"Her name is SHMI!" Anakin yelled. Padmé covered her ears.

_Serena was changing into something more... hehehe... appropriate_

"I don't wanna hear about what 'appropriate' is," Leia said.

"AKA, she looks like Leia at Jabba's," Luke said. Leia whacked him on the head. Han laughed.

"You have to admit..."

Leia blushed. "You didn't even see me! You were blind!"

_She heard someone coming in and she dived into a closet. "Go... go away!" she yelled._

_Anakin opened the closet. "Serena?"_

_She turned her back on him. "Anakin... go away! I'm not dressed!"_

Luke went green. "Dad, you can read this..." He passed it to Anakin. Anakin began to read again.

_Anakin drew her up, still facing the wall, against his chest. "It's okay.. I'm not like that." He kissed her cheek. Serena leaned into him. _

"_I... I love you..." she said quietly. He began kissing her neck and taking off his tunic._

Anakin muttered something along the lines of, "Why am I reading this?"

_After his tunic was off, Serena turned around and began helping with his pants. They dropped to the floor and she..._

Padmé looked over. "Um, kids... this is NC-17 type stuff..."

Han started arguing. "I'm not a kid!"

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Are you really?" Han gulped and sputtered. Leia blushed. Padmé frowned at both of them.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Jeez, can we get on with it and not get into the disgusting facts that Leia and Han obviously don't want to share. Just bloody make sure they're using protection and then let's read." Han punched him in the head.

Anakin flipped to another page ahead.

_Serena smiled happily at Anakin. They were on a starship heading to Geonosis, because Serena had used her special powers to recognize that Obi-Wan was in trouble. Padma was also coming along , just because she was Anakin's h-_

"ANAKIN!" Padmé shrieked into his ear. "THIS IS A SICK JOKE BOOK!"

Leia picked the book up from where she had dropped it. "Let's find another page."


End file.
